Death is easy  Life is harder
by stevie419
Summary: It will change them forever.No one ever imagined this would happen. Edward's mind was filled with loss and heartbreak. Everyone else's thoughts were now lost in his own anguish. "Not now" he cried...It was a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. First ff


**Death is easy-Life is harder **

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are my own they are all the work of Stephanie Meyer. Based on the Twilight saga, takes place a while after Breaking Dawn. Make note that in this FanFic Emmet and Rosalie have left the Cullen house to live on their own.

**Chapter 1- Tragedy **

Edward cradled Renesmee's lifeless body in his arms. She was dead. Gone. Although Edward cried no physical tears, inside he had cried a river. This was the worst pain he had ever felt, and there was nothing he could do but hold his daughters corpse in his stone cold arms. Edward's mind was filled with loss and heartbreak. Everyone else's thoughts were now lost in is own anguish. "Not now" he cried, everything had been going so well and now this. It was a nightmare he couldn't wake up from.

In the room next door Bella was being comforted by Alice and Esme, but there was nothing that could heal the hole that she now felt in her heart. She couldn't bear to see her daughter dead, her own flesh and blood , lying there, gone forever. This was worse than anything Bella could have ever dreamt of. Nothing Esme or Alice said could get rid of the pain Bella felt for her lost daughter.

Edward and Bella had done everything in their power to keep Renesmee safe, until she was old enough fully to become one of them. A vampire. But now all that effort was wasted because of one stupid mistake. One silly little slip in 4 years had resulted in their only daughters death. As vampires the only visible sorrow was through their words and expressions. No tears could be wept on the outside, but from the inside the grief was worse than any human could possibly feel or live through.

Although Renesmee was no normal child she could still die. She was not immortal yet, and now she never would be. Now she was gone. Renesmee had been hunting with Bella earlier that day and when Bella fed she would always put Renesmee out of the way, just in case she couldn't control the frenzy that begun whenever a vampire attacked. Bella was always worried that she would hurt her daughter and it was normal for Bella to put Renesmee in the tree, high up away from where the hunt was taking place. Renesmee would only come down when Bella had finished and she would drink what was left from the animal as she wasn't able to catch her own prey yet. But today while Bella was drinking the blood of a deer, the branch Renesmee was sat upon broke completely in two. Renesmee fell 50feet from the tree and hit branches all the way down, before landing with a thud on the ground.

Bella didn't notice her fall, until she smelt the fresh scent of new blood. The blood smelt sweet and so good, the scent made Bella turn. She knew this smell, but it was stronger, closer than normal. Bella wanted it, her eyes were black with thirst all though she had just fed. But then she saw who it was. Renesmee her beautiful daughter. She was lying, sprawled on the ground of leaves and twigs. She wasn't moving, but Bella could still sense her weak heartbeat. Bella's thirst immediately disappeared and desperation kicked in. Bella scooped up Renesmee into her arms, Renesmee's mind was blank and she showed Bella nothing. Bella knew she didn't have much time. She ran as fast as she could back to the Cullen house, with Renesmee in her arms, hoping and praying that her daughter would hold on long enough. "Don't leave me Nessie, not now!" Bella whispered into Renesmee's ear.

When she arrived Edward and Alice were waiting outside. Alice must have seen this happening Bella thought. Edward ran to where Bella was standing and immediately grabbed Renesmee from her arms. He didn't say anything to Bella but turned and ran into the house and up the stairs. Alice put her arm around Bella and followed Edward. He took Renesmee into the room, which Bella had given birth to her in. He laid Renesmee on the bed that was situated in the centre of the room.

Carlisle was already there and he started treating Nessie straight away. Edwards face was pained, Bella couldn't make out whether he was angry or upset, he was just stood staring at Renesmee intently. She looked so small and defenceless. Carlisle was rushing around trying to asses her condition as quickly as possible, and that was when Renesmee's heart suddenly stopped. As vampires no monitors were needed, they could sense and smell when the blood stopped pumping. Carlisle started trying to resuscitate her. "what are you doing!" Bella screamed "Bite her! Change her please, Don't let her die!" Carlisle shook his head "it's too late, her heart has already stopped". Bella ran forwards towards Renesmee, she grabbed her arm and tried to bite, but Edward pulled her back "No, it's too late, don't do this!" Bella moved away and collapsed to the floor, screaming out for her daughter. Edward did not calm her but turned away.

Alice put her arm round Bella and pulled her off the floor, and into the room next door where Esme was sat. Both tried to comfort her but Bella was inconsolable. Edward was the same next door, Carlisle had left the room so that Edward could have some time alone with his deceased daughter. He held her lifeless body in his arms and cried deep inside. He cried so much the tears were almost visible. His daughter was gone. Renesmee was the only child Bella and Edward would be able to have and she had been taken away from them. Edward wanted to see his daughters thoughts, but there was nothing there, just a body. Nessie was no longer there. So he just sat there holding her and thinking of all the times they had together.

Bella was distraught. Carlisle walked into the room where Bella was. "Do you want to see her, Edward is in there now?" he asked. Bella couldn't speak so she just nodded and walked next door. She stood in the doorway watching the two things that she loved most in her life. But it wasn't the nice image it should be, instead it was a picture of enormous grief and pain. It was an image that would haunt Bella forever, seeing the people she loved like this. She walked slowly over to where Edward sat with Renesmee and she knelt next to him. Bella put her hand on Renesmee's head and stroked her hair, she was cold, not there anymore. When Bella touched her now there were no images coming from Nessie. She was definatly gone.

Bella could see the suffering in Edwards' eyes "I'm sorry" she said as she put an arm on his shoulder. Edward looked deep into her face, and shook his head. He pulled his arm away from her violently, laid Renesmee back on the bed and stormed out of the room, downstairs and through the front door. Bella broke down "it's all my fault, I'm sorry Nessie, I'm sorry" she cried leaning over her daughters bed. Alice walked into the room with Carlisle. "Bella it's time to leave, you can't stay here, you've got to let go now" she said pulling her away. Carlisle took a white sheet and laid it over Renesmee's body. Alice led Bella from the room and downstairs.

**Chapter 2 (Bella Pov)Immediate emotions**

Edward had been gone for a whole day now and none of the Cullens had heard or even seen him, since he had walked out yesterday. Carlisle and Jasper were out looking for him but Alice couldn't see his future, it kept changing so fast it was just a blur. This made it 10 times harder to even know where to look. Bella had spent the last day lying on the sofa, silently, but every now and then crying out in grief. Esme hadn't left Bella's side (after all she had been through something similar) she had tried to comfort her, but nothing seemed to help.

Carlisle and Jasper searched all day and when it got dark they headed back. There wasn't much chance of finding him when there was no light. When the pair walked back through the door with no Edward, Bella cried out again "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". Carlisle went over, to give her a hug. "He'll come back when he's ready, you've got nothing to be sorry for" he told her in a whisper.

Everyone sat in the lounge. There was no conversation. Everyone just sat still. Jasper turned the TV onto Baseball, but no one was really paying attention to it. It was just there to drown out the silence. The atmosphere was awful. Bella sat there thinking about how quiet the house was without Renesmee playing in the background and Edward laughing at the silly things she would do. That was when Bella got up. The first time since Nessie's death. Everyone's eyes turned to see what Bella was going to do next. "I'm going to the cottage" she said. "Do you want me to go with you?" Alice asked sympathetically. "No" Bella replied "I'll be ok on my own".

Bella walked to the cottage Esme had designed for Edward and Bella when they had got married. It was beautiful, but it just seemed so quiet now. So different from before. The last time they had been in here was when Renesmee had been alive and Edward had been sat on the floor playing with her. The thought made Bella smile. But then realisation hit and the emptiness made all the happy memories disappear. For the first time in years Bella was alone.

Bella went to the bedroom and laid down. She couldn't live like this. Full of guilt and grief. She felt like it was all her fault that her family had fallen apart. If she hadn't put Renesmee in the tree, she wouldn't have fallen and Edward wouldn't have left, Bella thought. She felt so much pain, she didn't feel like she could go on anymore. She had nothing left to live for. Bella laid on the bed all night thinking about what had happened and by morning she had decided what she was going to do, to sort the mess out.

At about 5am Bella got up. She hunted around for a pen and paper and sat down to write a note for Edward if he ever came back. She finished writing, put the letter into an envelope and then left it on their bed. She grabbed her favourite photo of the three of them, put it in the pocket of her designer jeans (Alice had bought for her) and then left the cottage.

She ran as fast as she could for miles and miles, until she reached the airport. She went up to the ticket desk and asked for a flight to Volterra in Italy. The man behind the counter complied straight away and when she got her ticket she noticed that he had slipped in a bit of paper with his phone number on as well. He gave her a wink as she turned back around and walked away. Bella just sighed and made her way (at human speed) to the aeroplane.

It was a long flight and it gave Bella a lot of time to think through what she was going to do. She planned to go to the Volturi and attack one of them, so they would kill her as a punishment. It was the only way she could be with Renesmee again. Bella thought about Edward and as much as she loved him, Bella felt that he didn't love her anymore as he had left her. She had come to the conclusion she had nothing to live for.

After the 12 hour flight had landed Bella left the airport and made her way to where the Volturi lived. She would wait a couple of days, to make sure her plan would work, she wanted to be sure about what she was going to do. So she hid in a small corner opposite the clock tower. The last time Bella had been here was when she had come with Alice to save Edward, she remembered the fear and pain she had felt. Was that how Edward would feel when he heard about her?

**Chapter 3 (Edwards Pov)Realisation **

Edward had stopped running after two days and had decided that running away wasn't going to help. He should be with Bella. They needed each other, especially at a time like this. Edward couldn't believe how stupid he had been to run away and leave her. When he had promised Bella that he never would again. Edward remembered what had happened last time. He turned around and started running as fast as he could back home.

He ran for a whole day and a half until he finally reached Forks. When he got there Alice opened the door. She saw Edward and just shook her head. "What is it?, I'm sorry" Edward said panic in his voice. "Where's Bella?. Alice handed over a letter addressed to Edward. He recognised the writing straight away. He started to read:

_Dear Edward, _

_I'm sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen. I love Renesmee with all my heart and I am so sorry that she died and that you felt you had to leave me. I'm sorry I caused this family to fall apart, I know you gave up so much for me and again I'm sorry. I'm not sure I can carry on anymore without you both. I love you and always will (even if you don't love me). I will always love you wherever I am. If I can't be with you then I will be with Renesmee. Sorry _

_Bella xxxxxxxxxx P.S I love you (forever and always)_

Edward was distraught. There were a million thoughts running through his head. Edward turned to Alice "when did she leave?" he asked. "About a 2 days ago" Alice replied. Edwards' eyes widened when he heard. "why did you let her go, how could you just let her walk away?" he shouted. Alice didn't answer she just shook her head. "Do you know where she went, have you even tried to find out Alice? I thought you were meant to be her friend" Edward asked harshly. "I-I-I have tried, of course I have. But she has her shield up, it's difficult all I got was an image of a plane, then nothing. I'm sorry Edward but I think you're too late" Alice managed to stammer. Edward looked back down at the letter. "No I can't give up on her, I love her Alice, I've got to find her. I know what I did was stupid, I should never have runaway" he admitted. Edward turned back to the front door to leave. "Wait!" Alice shouted "I'll come with you, but let me write a note so the others know your safe and where we are, you read the letter and try and find any clues to where she is, and then we'll go". Edward agreed, and sat down to read the letter again.

Alice started writing a letter to the rest of the Cullens (who were out hunting), Edward was reading the letter over and over again. He was desperate to find something. He had read the letter about 15 times when suddenly he realised where she was. The worst place he could imagine. "Alice" he shouted "we've go to go now, she's gone to the Volturi, we don't have much time". They both made there way out of the house and started running at full speed. They got the next plane to Volterra and on the flight Alice asked Edward how he knew where Bella was. "She said if she couldn't be with me, she would be with Renesmee, and she's dead. Going to the Volturi is the only way she would know how to be killed" Edward answered. "you do realise Edward we might be too late, I mean she left 2 days ago now" Alice explained. "I've got to try, I love her Alice" Edward answered with desperation showing across his perfectly formed face.

**Chapter 4- Quick thinking **

The plane landed and Alice and Edward made their way from the airport as quickly as possible. Once they were away from humans they ran faster than they ever had before to Volterra. When they arrived the pair split up so they could look for any sign of Bella. Edward was desperate to find her alive. Although he knew that he may be too late. They started searching everywhere.

Meanwhile Bella had decided she was defiantly going to go through with her plan. She had spent the last day and a half thinking things through and finding out where the Volturi were at different times of the day. Bella got up from where she was hiding. She could see the clock tower and Bella knew that in ten minutes Aro would walk through the tunnel. Bella had decided that's who she would attack. Aro had always been the most understanding out of the Volturi and Bella knew that if she upset him she would get her wish, as the others would jump at the chance to kill her. It was only Aro that had ever stopped them before.

The minutes were ticking by, and Bella could just start to see Aro appearing through the tunnel in the distance. She knew it was now or never. She started running towards Aro, and as she neared him Aro looked up. Bella couldn't stop now. Aro had realised he was about to be attacked and had steadied himself ready for the impact to fight back. Both Aro and Bella growled at each other. In less than 5 seconds Bella would have made contact and it wouldn't be long until she could see her daughter again.

During this time Edward had picked up Bella's scent in a small corner of the main square. It was still strong. He had been following her scent when he had heard the growls. Edward looked up and could see Bella and Aro running towards each other, both ready to fight. Edward knew that he wouldn't reach Bella in time to stop them attacking each other, but he could reach her before she got killed. Bella had her shield up so Edward couldn't hear what she was thinking. He didn't know what she was planning to do.

Edward started running towards them both. He could see that Bella and Aro were almost within touching distance. Edward needed to do something, he couldn't bear to see Bella get hurt. So he shouted as loud as he could "Bella stop!". Bella turned almost immediately when she heard Edwards' voice. She had stopped running, but Aro had not, he came pounding down on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

Edward reached Bella and Aro, and started trying to pull him off. But Aro was strong and they kept reading each others thoughts, so the other knew what they were going to try next. Bella was trapped underneath the fighting. She couldn't believe Edward was here, she had put him in danger as well. Bella started trying to help Edward, she bit into Aro's shoulder. He yelled in pain.

Bella and Edward were fighting as a team, but they couldn't stop Aro, he was very powerful and had years of experience. Alice had found the three of them fighting and had rushed to where they were to help. But before she got there she had a vision. It showed Bella Edward and herself all being killed, by the rest of the Volturi. Alice carried on running she couldn't worry about the future now. It was up to her to change the outcome.

Alice joined the fight and the three of them finally started to win over Aro, but then through the tunnel came Caius and Jane. They were another two members of the Volturi. They immediately rushed to help Aro. The fight was getting viscous. Bella was struggling with Jane, while Edward was with Caius and Alice was fighting Aro. The three Cullens were losing, Alice had to do something. She thought as hard as she could, until she had an idea. Alice shouted across to Bella, to get her shield down and swap with her, so that Bella could fight Aro.

Bella agreed, she had wanted to die, to be with Renesmee but now she knew she had Edward back and she didn't want to cause Alice and Edward to be killed, because of her. She swapped with Alice and started fighting Aro. She didn't really understand what Alice was planning, but she did it anyway. Bella took down her shield. This would mean Alice would be able to see her future easier and Edward would be able to read her thoughts, but then so would Aro. Nothing happened so Bella shouted over to Alice. Alice called back "show him why you came here" before she broke Jane's right arm.

Bella didn't want to. She knew that Edward would be able to hear her thoughts as well as Aro. She didn't want Edward to know the reasons why she came here. But Alice had told her it was the only way, she had to. Bella thought as hard as she could about why she was in Volterra. She replayed Renesmee's death and then her feelings afterwards when Edward had runaway. She thought about the night she had spent lying on the bed in the cottage, feeling guilty and suffering the grief.

Aro suddenly stopped attacking Bella. He lay on the floor staring up at her. Bella turned away from Aro and looked towards Edward. His face was pained. Bella knew it had hurt him hearing what she had just thought but it had to be done. Then Bella remembered that she still had her shield up, so she quickly put it back down. Bella made eye contact with Edward "I'm sorry" she said. Edward nodded and then continued fighting Caius.

Aro had stood back up "Stop!" he shouted louder than Bella had ever heard anyone shout before. Everyone did stop and they all turned to stare at Aro. He grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her closer to him. "Jane, Caius you can go now" he said. The two of them both started to protest but Aro told them again to go, this time more forcefully. They did what they were told and left back through the tunnel. Edward and Alice came closer. Both looked a mess, clothes were ripped and they both had scratches on their arms. Edward also had a couple on his face. Aro let Bella go and told the three of them to follow him.

**Chapter 5- Explanations **

Edward, Bella and Alice walked behind Aro. They walked through the tunnel and down past a receptionist, into a room. The three of them had been in here before. This was where Bella had first met the Volturi. There were three chairs in the room and Aro told them to sit. He started talking about what Bella had shown him through her thoughts. He said how sorry he was to hear about Renesmee and how he wanted Edward to sort things out with Bella. He also told them he wouldn't kill them because he understood why Bella had come running to him. "if you had attacked any of the others I'm afraid Bella you might all be dead by now, you chose well" Aro said. He then went back to his old tricks and started trying to get the three of them to join the Volturi. All of them said no. After he had finished speaking to them, to their surprise he let them go. He accompanied them all the way out of Volterra and then said his goodbyes. Bella, Edward and Alice left with no trouble at all.

On the plane back to Forks, Bella asked Alice how she knew her plan would work. "Aro has always been the more civilised one. He still has feelings. I hoped he would understand and he did. More than I thought he would. To be honest I didn't think he would let us go like that though" Alice replied. "He let us go because we had what he had always wanted, a proper family. He hated seeing it broken up, so he helped us. But he will pay for letting us go like that. Jane will be mad" Edward told the other two.

None of them could believe what had just happened. They still hadn't taken it all in. But now Bella and Edward had each other again. Alice used one of the on board telephones to ring the other Cullens. She told them they were all safe and they were on their way home. Alice couldn't explain what had happened because their were other people around (as it was people were staring at them because of the mess they were in). But she promised them she would when they got back.

They made their way back to the house. It was the early hours of the morning when they got back. Esme, Carlisle and Jasper were all sat in the living room talking. Jasper jumped up and gave Alice a huge hug when she walked in the door. "Oh my God what happened to you three?" Esme asked when she saw the scratches and ripped clothes. Alice explained everything that had happened, while Edward and Bella sat cuddling each other and filling in the bits they needed to. Carlisle couldn't believe it, he was amazed they had all come back in one piece.

Edward and Bella went back to the cottage when Alice had finished telling the story. Bella didn't feel much like celebrating. The two of them needed to talk. Nothing still took away the fact that Renesmee was dead. It had been the reason why all this had happened. Edward apologised for running away. Bella said sorry to Edward for going to the Volturi. Both agreed they had done stupid things.

Over the next couple of days Bella and Edward spent a lot of time together. They shared their grief and visited Renesmee. Nessie hadn't changed one bit since the day she had died (her body wasn't perishable), she was still the same little girl Bella and Edward had created.

As time went by Edward found it gradually easier to cope, but Bella was the opposite, she found it harder and harder. Little things would set Bella off, and she would break down at certain times of the day. But Edward was there to comfort her. He had tried to talk to her about a funeral, but Bella would just curl up and stop talking to anyone. Bella was scared to completely let go. "Bella we've got to arrange a funeral. It can't be like this forever, you've got to move on, let Renesmee move on. There's people we've got to tell. What about your father, Jacob, Emmet and Rosalie, they're all starting to wonder if something's going on. Bella please just help me. I want to get this right." Edward pleaded with her one evening.

**Chapter 6- Understanding**

Edward started planning the funeral. He couldn't wait forever, he couldn't leave his daughter lying in a room in the Cullens house it just wasn't right. She deserved a proper burial. He told Bella he would do the funeral but she had to be with him to tell people. Bella didn't say anything, but nodded. "We'll tell your dad first then shall we" Edward said to Bella. He didn't expect an answer so just started dialling. That was when Bella spoke "No not my dad, he'll just worry and tell Billy. Jacob first." Edward agreed and started calling Jacob. He told him to come down to the cottage, because there was something he and Bella needed to talk to him about. Jacob agreed to come immediately.

It only took Jacob 10 minutes to reach the cottage in his wolf form, so Edward and Bella didn't have to wait long. Jacob transformed back into his human self and knocked on the door. Edward answered and let him inside. "where's Renesmee?" he asked almost immediately. "Just sit down" Edward answered. Jacob agreed and when he saw Bella sat in the chair opposite staring into nothingness he knew something was wrong. Edward could hear Jacobs' thoughts turn from excitement to panic. "What's going on? Where's my Nessie? Say something one of you!" Jacob shouted. Edward was the one who answered "I don't know how to tell you this, but well…" "Renesmee is dead" Bella interrupted.

Jacob looked at Bella like she had gone mad. "No she isn't she can't be" he said clenching his fist tightly. Edward nodded his head "she is she's gone". "No, no, no she can't be" Jacob repeated over and over. The more Jacob denied it the more Bella got upset, when finally she stood up and shouted "SHE IS, SHE'S DEAD, GONE. Why would we make it up? RENESMEE IS DEAD!" Bella finished and stormed out the room. Edward glared at Jacob, turned and went after Bella.

Bella had gone to the bedroom and was laid on the bed in the foetal position, Edward rushed over to her and held her. He held her tight. He hated seeing her like this, although it was obvious that Edwards' presence gave Bella some relief. Jacob had followed Edward to the bedroom, he stood from behind the door and watched Bella and Edward together. That was how he and Renesmee should have been, when she was old enough, (they would have been inseparable and would have loved each other intensely), but now that would never happen, Nessie had been taken away from him.

Jacob wanted to know more, how it had happened?, why? And when? But he knew he wasn't going to get much out of Bella and Edward at the moment, so he made his way back through the cottage, out the front door and up to the Cullen house. Alice was the one who opened the door, and she was surprised to see Jacob standing there. Alice let him in and Jacob demanded answers straight away. Alice explained what had happened. After Jacob asked to see Renesmee. Alice didn't think it was a good idea to let him up there on his own without Bella or Edwards permission. But Carlisle agreed to let Jacob see her.

Jacob made his way up the stairs with Carlisle and Alice. They led him into a room he had been in before. It was the room Bella had given birth to Renesmee in. In the centre of the room lay Renesmee, she didn't look any different, just asleep. Jacob started to cry, seeing her with his own eyes had made everything real. "Can I touch her?" he asked Carlisle who nodded. Jacob moved closer and touched Renesmee' forehead and wiped her hair back from her face repeatedly as though comforting her. He asked Alice when this had happened. Alice looked worried but answered "about a week ago". She knew Jacob wouldn't like the fact that he hadn't been told sooner.

Jacob started to shake, he clenched his fists tight but it didn't help, he couldn't control the anger he felt. He ripped out of his human body and was in his wolf form in a matter of seconds. He swept up Nessie into his arms and made for the door. Both Alice and Carlisle tried to stop him leaving but Jacob was in such a temper he managed to storm past them and out of the house. He ran off into the woods' carrying the body of the girl he had imprinted on.

**Chapter 7- Friendship fury **

Jasper had been walking back into the house after he had been hunting when Jacob had run out of the door. When he saw Alice following he joined her immediately. Carlisle went to the cottage to tell Edward what had happened. Bella was distraught and so angry that someone she thought was a friend would kidnap her daughters body. Carlisle, Bella and Edward started running after Jacob. It was 5 against 1 but Jacob had the head start.

Bella and Edward were running faster than they ever had before. They were running so fast that soon they caught up with Alice and Jasper. Jacob's scent was getting stronger, they were getting closer. Then Bella caught a glimpse of Jacob's fur, she leapt forwards and managed to grab hold of his tail, dramatically slowing him down. Right now Bella wanted to kill him. The others had caught up and Edward had also leapt onto Jacob brining him to stop . Edward and Bella pinned him to the ground. While Jasper, Alice and Carlisle stood in a circle around the wolf. Jacob still had hold of Renesmee.

Jacob growled at the vampires who all except Carlisle were baring their teeth at him. "Give me my child Jacob. NOW!" Bella snarled. Jacob just growled back "If you want to talk Jacob, change back. If not give us our daughter". Bella replied on behalf of both her and Edward. Jacob didn't want to but made the change back to human. "I need to protect Nessie, Bella, you've got to understand. I imprinted on her she's a part of my life. I can't live without her". Jacob wept. "She's our daughter Jacob, you shouldn't have imprinted on her, now give her back and let us have a funeral for her!" Edward shouted. "No Edward, I didn't choose to imprint on her it just happens, I can't move on, It's like you without Bella". Jacob answered.

Edward lost his temper and leapt forwards onto Jacob. Carlisle and Jasper both ran forwards to pull him off. "STOP!" Bella screamed at Edward. "Don't you'll hurt Renesmee too" Jacob was still holding Nessie in his arms, Edward pulled back away from Jacob and let him stand. "Let me talk to Jacob alone" Bella asked. Edward didn't want to upset Bella anymore so he agreed.

Bella walked over to Jacob and led him further into the woods away from the others. She walked up to a large tree, sat down and rested her head against the trunk, she ushered Jacob to sit down next to her. He slumped himself down beside Bella still holding Renesmee. He spoke first "I'm sorry Bella, I had to take her I couldn't help myself. I couldn't bear to see her lying all alone in that room, I wanted someone to be with her and when Alice said she had died a week ago, it made me angry that I hadn't been told before and also I was angry at myself for not realising something was wrong earlier, I'm sorry Bella." Jacob exclaimed. Everything that Jacob had been thinking all gushed out at once. "I'm sorry Bella I don't want my Nessie to be lonely". Bella put her arm around Jacob and looked down at Renesmee's body.

"Look Jacob" Bella said a couple of moments later. "She's not alone now. She's not there anymore, she's gone, moved on. Her thoughts aren't there anymore, we've both got to let go, and having a funeral is the only way I think I can begin to do that Jacob, please just give me her body back, Nessie is somewhere else now Jacob, probably laughing at us all behaving like this." Bella said standing up. Jacob also got up and held out his arms to Bella. "You can take her" he said with huge tears dropping from his eyes.

Bella and Jacob went back to the others. Edward rushed over when he smelt them coming, but backed off a bit when he saw that Bella was holding Nessie. Bella walked over to Carlisle and handed over the body, she hesitated only for a second and then realised what she had said to Jacob was right. Carlisle left immediately and made his way back to the Cullen house.

Jacob walked forwards to Edward and held out his hand "I'm sorry" he said before Edward shook it and said "me to". They all made their way back home. It didn't take too long and when they got there "Esme had made Jacob a cup of tea and some food. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme all left Bella, Edward and Jacob alone in the living room to talk things through properly.

The three of them agreed that Jacob could help with the funeral, Edward understood how Jacob had felt now. Edward agreed to let Jacob see Renesmee when ever he wanted to if he promised not to move her. They sat and spoke for a long time and just as Jacob was about to leave he asked Bella something that had been annoying him ever since they had left the woods' "Bella, I just wanted to know why you suddenly changed your mind about letting Edward killing me, so we could talk?" Bella looked confused but the realised what he meant "oh, well you said that living without Renesmee, was like me and Edward apart, and well I saw what you meant, I felt sorry for you" Bella admitted. Jacob smiled said thank you and left for La Push.

**Chapter 8- Shock **

The next two days Bella found easier, she was the happiest she'd been since Renesmee's death. Things weren't back to normal but they never would be. Bella had realised she had to move on, she still had Edward and she still had a life. Renesmee would want them to be happy. Bella and Edward were supporting each other and Jacob was visiting regularly to see Renesmee (even Jacob was finding things easier) he found it easier when he was around people that understood how he felt. Everyone was coping.

Bella had rung Charlie and he had offered as much support as he could give, he agreed to attend the funeral. Edward had also rung Rosalie and Emmet who were going to come back to Forks for the funeral and everyone was looking forward to seeing them again, even if it was for a sad occasion. Bella couldn't wait to see Emmet who never failed to cheer people up, with his terrible jokes and playful behaviour, while Alice was looking forward to seeing Rosalie so she could give her some new outfits she had designed that Bella wouldn't wear.

The funeral was going to be the day after Rosalie and Emmet arrived, so nearly everything was ready. Bella and Edward had chosen a white coffin with their favourite colour blue material inside. Bella had put the bracelet she had given Nessie for one Christmas around her wrist and Edward had put photos and an MP3 player full of music that he had made for Renesmee in the coffin. Bella, Edward and Jacob had said their final goodbyes before nailing down the lid. In two days Renesmee Carlie Cullen would buried in a small cave by the waterfall, where only the Cullens and close friends would know.

The Cullen's were all sat downstairs waiting in the living room for Emmet and Rosalie to arrive. Alice stood up and announced that they were early before running to open the door. No longer than 10 seconds later did the pair come into view. When they reached the front door Emmet smiled and kissed Alice on the cheek, he then pulled Edward into a manly hug and patted him on the back. Bella stood next to Edward, she wanted to cry, she didn't know why perhaps it was because of the friendly face that had just come bouncing in through the door, Bella's face was screwed up so as not to show too much emotion and when Emmet saw her he said "come here, give your brother in law a hug". Bella smiled and Emmet embraced her with open arms. Emmet could see how much she was trying not to show her grief.

Rosalie however stood in the doorway with a face like thunder. "Where is she!" she screamed looking around the room. "Who" Carlisle asked confused. Edward suddenly stood in front of Bella, and Alice suggested he take her upstairs (they had both seen and heard what was about to happen). Edward tried to move Bella but she resisted "What's going on? What have I done?" Bella asked panic in her voice. "You killed my baby! You killed her!" Rosalie shouted making her way towards Bella. Emmet stepped in the way and put a hand on Rosalie's shoulder. "Babe, I thought we'd spoken about this, you said you wouldn't". "She's not your child Rosalie" Alice added. "It doesn't matter, Bella killed her, she let her die, Renesmee was the closest thing I could have had to a child." Rosalie roared struggling against Emmet and Jasper who were both now holding her back. Bella was so shocked over what she was hearing, she let Edward take her upstairs.

Edward took Bella into his old bedroom, Bella was in shock "it was my fault Edward, I should have caught her or done something more to save her, Rosalie's right." Bella stammered. Edward shook his head at her and pulled Bella into a hug. "It's not your fault you did all you could" Edward told Bella squeezing her tighter. Esme came into the room to see how they were. She sat on the bed and tried talking to them both "Rosalie didn't mean it you know what she's like, she's always been overdramatic." Edward couldn't listen to it though he was fed up of people ruining things, just when they were getting better. He got up and left the room

Edward was so angry with Rosalie, Bella had been getting over everything and then Rosalie had been back 5 minutes and had managed to ruin everything. Edward was furious he wanted his wife back. All these emotions had put such a strain on their relationship. How could Rosalie just walk in and destroy everything that Bella and Edward had rebuilt over the last two weeks. Edward made his way down the stairs.

**Chapter 9- Incontrollable anger **

When Edward entered the living room (where the others were) Carlisle immediately stood up and went to Edwards' side. "Don't do anything stupid, Emmet has spoken with her and she has calmed down" Carlisle whispered into his ear. "SHE MIGHT HAVE CALMED DOWN" Edward roared "BUT UPSTAIRS MY WIFE IS DISTRAUGHT, SHE IS BACK TO HOW SHE WAS, IF NOT WORSE. BELLA THINKS IT WAS ALL HER FAULT, I THINK I HAVE A RIGHT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID, DON'T YOU" Edward finished. Rosalie glared at him from where she sat and Emmet stared angrily at Rosalie. Carlisle stood holding Edward's shoulder and Alice shook her head at him. "Edward you won't do anything silly" Alice thought. Edward knew that Alice was hoping this rather than knowing.

Edward knew he shouldn't but he wanted to. He wanted to hurt Rosalie for what she had said. Edward had never felt anger like it. He stood in the doorway his fists clenched and eyes piercing. His instinct was telling him to fight but his conscience was telling him no. Edward could hear what everyone in the room was thinking and some of it he didn't like. It was coming from Rosalie. Edward couldn't control himself, he couldn't listen to her stupid remarks anymore. Edward leapt across the room before Carlisle could stop him. Edward threw himself on Rosalie and pinned her down "Keep your thoughts to yourself" he shouted in her face. Emmet stood up and tried to pull Edward off Rosalie, Jasper and Carlisle also ran to help. But Edward was in a rage like never before, all the pain and suffering he had felt in the past few weeks was rushing out of him now.

Edward threw Emmet and Jasper off his back, normally he wouldn't have been able to do this, but right now he was incontrollable. Carlisle shouted at Edward to stop, to remember who he was but it didn't help. Rosalie now realised that she was in trouble, she knew she wouldn't be able t outfight him if the others couldn't. She cowered back into the seat as Edward came closer and closer. He leant forwards and grabbed the chair with Rosalie still in it and threw her across the room and into the far wall. Emmet came at Edward again, and Carlisle told Alice to go and get Bella. She was their only hope of calming Edward down. Even Jasper was powerless against him.

Alice had never seen her brother act like this and she hated seeing him how he was now. In her vision she had seen Edward wanting to kill Rosalie, all his anger was escaping him, he was a different vampire, a different person. Alice knew the only way to stop him was to do what Carlisle had said. Alice ran up the stairs as quick as she could and entered the room in which Bella and Esme were sat. They both looked up when Alice burst through the door. Esme asked what all the noise was about downstairs. "They're fighting" Alice said. "and really bad, Edward won't stop, I've never seen him like this, he's going to kill one of us, if no one stops him first". Bella looked up and shook her head "not Edward, he's not like that". Esme hated it when they fought she was always the compassionate one. "right, I'm going downstairs, I've had enough of them fighting together, we're family" Esme huffed.

Esme started making her way to the lounge, Bella and Alice followed. They were half way down the stairs when there was a huge crash. "Oh my God, what was that?" said Bella "That's it they're breaking the house now" shouted Esme who carried on storming down the stairs. Bella had never seen Esme so angry, neither had Alice (but then again the had never fought like this before). When they reached the doorway, what they saw was like hell. The living room was completely trashed. Esme had opened her mouth to shout at them, but had closed it when she saw what was going on. "Bella you're the only one that can stop him, you're Rosalie's only hope Bella" Alice said.

In the room Emmet and Carlisle had surrounded Rosalie, while Jasper was on Edwards' back trying to pull him away. Carlisle told Edward to calm down "Edward! Stop, we can sort this out!". But Edward just grabbed Carlisle and threw him across the room, he then wrenched Jasper off his back. Alice was right Bella thought. He's going to kill someone. Esme and Alice had ran to where Carlisle and Jasper were at the other side of the room. Edward hadn't noticed Bella was there and was getting closer to Emmet. Emmet growled at him as a warning. But Edward swiped at Emmet's neck, leaving a huge scratch, Edward then pushed Emmet hard across the room and through a glass window. Glass shattered everywhere and Rosalie screamed. No one had ever been powerful enough to beat Emmet. But something in Edward had sparked.

There was now nothing between Edward and Rosalie "I'm sorry" she screamed "don't hurt me!". Bella had never seen Rosalie back down from a fight before, but she supposed Rosalie could see as well as the others that he wanted to kill her. Edward got closer and reached out his hand… Bella knew she had to do something and quick. She ran across the room and threw herself in front of Rosalie "Edward No!" she screamed. "Stop, don't hurt her Edward your not like this" Edward pulled his hand away slowly and stared at Bella, restraint in his eyes. "Come on Edward follow me, we'll sort this out on our own together, look around your not like this. Please Edward follow me" Bella wanted to break down, but she knew she had to be strong for Edward, (like he had been to her before), Bella put her arm on his and pulled. He turned back towards Rosalie and suddenly something seemed to click. He shook his head and let Bella lead him out of the room, through the front door and out into the open air.

Bella led him down to the cottage. Edward walked stiff like he was in a daze, he never blinked or changed his expression. When they reached their home Bella took Edward inside and sat him down on a chair. She didn't know what to do or say to him. She was worried about him, she sat down in a seat and watched him for a while. "Edward we need to talk" she said "Before tomorrow". He didn't move "I know" he said after a long wait.

They both spoke about what had happened. Edward was truly sorry. He explained the strain he had felt on their relationship since Renesmee had died, and they both agreed to move on after the funeral because Renesmee wouldn't have wanted to see her parents like this. Bella led Edward into the bedroom. Where she gave him a big hug. They lay there for hours just talking and holding each other. Bella and Edward had promised to help each other through the funeral, and Edward was going to apologise to everyone later when he had completely calmed down.

**Chapter 10- Sorry and Goodbye **

Bella and Edward went back to the Cullen's house to help clear up the mess. When Edward saw the damage he had caused he couldn't stop apologising. "Esme I'm so sorry, all your hard work, I can't believe.. I'm sorry". Esme smiled at Edward "I know you are don't worry. You've given me a new room to redecorate". Edward carried on apologising to everyone even though they had accepted his apology the first time, Emmet even congratulated him on managing to throw him through a window "I've always wanted to do that, you know like in the films" he said, making everyone laugh.

Edward went over to Rosalie and apologised to her separately he could see he had shaken her. "I'm sorry, I really am, I should never have reacted the way I did, I know it's hard for you, I know how close you were to Nessie. Forgive me". Rosalie smiled and said with a sigh of relief "you're back, the real Edwards back, you really scared me I thought you were going to kill me" she smiled. "oh and I'm sorry too, I should never have said all the things I did, I'm sorry for being such a bitch ever since well I met you" Rosalie giggled. They both shook each others hand and agreed a silent truce.

When the sun rose in the morning the Cullen living room was almost back to normal apart from a smashed window and a couple of missing pieces of furniture (that had been damaged beyond repair) that were to be replaced as soon as they had time to go shopping. It didn't matter though because all the Cullens were stood outside along with Jacob, Charlie, and Seth. Who were all waiting to go to Renesmee's funeral.

The girls were wearing blue dresses and the men were wearing black suits with blue ties. They would drive to the waterfall in the Cullen's cars and Renesmee's coffin would go with Bella and Edward. When everyone was ready they set off. Edward didn't leave Bella's side and both comforted each other.

When they reached the waterfall they entered the cave which Renesmee was to be buried in. Edward and Bella stood holding each other, with Carlisle the other side of Edward and Charlie next to Bella. Jacob had decided he would like to place the coffin in the ground, so stepped forwards to do so. Jacob was crying and kept wiping away his tears with his huge hand. The pain and tension in the cave was awful, the death of one little girl had caused so much grief.

Jacob spoke first through sobs, and then others followed. Bella and Edward were trying to stay strong. Neither of them spoke, instead the had decided on something more long lasting. They had written a letter together that they would place on top of the coffin. It read:

_To our Beautiful and Dear Renesmee, _

_You are much loved and always will be. We will never forget you or your precious smile. The time we had together was short but we cherish every moment. You will never be forgotten. We will both think of you everyday and you will always be in our hearts. (Jacob' s to) We will never stop loving you. Rest in Peace _

_Love Mummy and Daddy xxx_

Carlisle finished with a prayer and then the ground was filled in. Bella turned away when they put the soil over the top. She just couldn't watch, she didn't want that memory. A small stone was put on the grave, with her name and age on it.

The others went back to the cars, but Bella and Edward stayed. They sat holding each other for a while, Edward hummed the lullaby he had made for Bella, when they had first met. It was a final goodbye to their daughter. After a while Edward got up. "I'm going back, the others are probably waiting, are you coming?" he asked Bella. "No I'll be there in a minute" she replied. Edward agreed and left the cave. Bella sat and cried deep inside. She lost track of time and was startled when her dad, Charlie walked in. "I came to find you , everyone's waiting" he said. Bella pulled her dad close into a hug he shivered slightly partly through the shock of his daughters cold skin and also because it was something the pair had never done before. Bella and Charlie had never had that sort of relationship before. They never showed much emotion towards each other, but now it seemed natural.

Charlie had found it difficult to come to terms with what Bella had become. Not in the way he didn't believe or agree. But he didn't want to know details. It was like he was holding onto the old Bella, scared of what he would find out. He had never stopped visiting and had bonded well with Nessie and the other Cullens (probably because it was more people he could watch the baseball with) but still Charlie had always been there for Bella.

Charlie and Bella walked out the cave and towards where the cars were waiting. Bella could see the worry on Edwards' face when they got there. But he nodded to Charlie when he saw him. Edward had read Charlie's thoughts to find out what had gone on in the cave (something Bella didn't like him doing), but his face relaxed when he found out everything was ok . They all got back into the cars and headed back to the Cullen house.

**Chapter 11- Guilt **

Bella and Edward left the Cullen house and made their way back to the cottage after Jacob, Seth and Charlie had gone home. The two of them had made it through the day. They could now put everything behind them and move on. They sat holding each other in the bedroom. Vampires never slept so all the days rolled into one and their was never any escape. At night they tended to sit and do things quietly or spend time together like they were now in bed.

Now they just sat holding each other. Bella laid across Edwards perfectly formed torso. Edward sat playing with Bella's rich brown hair. "Bella" Edward spoke after a while "Yes" Bella replied looking up at Edward. "I really think we should go hunting together tomorrow, I know you probably don't want to, but you must be so hungry, your eyes are black, mine too. You've got to face it sometime". Bella didn't want to but she knew Edward was right. She had been putting it off since Nessie had died. After all that was how it had all happened. She knew she would have to sometime so she nodded and then put her head back on Renesmee's chest.

They stayed this way until the light came through the cottage windows "it's time" Edward said. They both stood up and walked out the door. Bella held Edwards' hand. She had put off hunting for so long because of the tragic memories it brought back. Edward gave Bella an encouraging glance and then they raced off through the trees together. It wasn't long until they came across some deer, in the middle of the forest. "You ready" Edward asked. "I think so" Bella replied. Both of them chased after a separate deer. Edward was more experienced and caught his quicker. He drained the animal of all it's blood, quickly and cleanly, and then carried on hunting. Bella chased her deer further and further into the trees. When suddenly she stopped and let the deer runaway.

Bella knew where she was. It was where Renesmee had fallen from the tree. The scenery hadn't changed one bit. The broken branch Nessie had fallen from was still there and the carcass of the deer Bella had been feeding on at the time hadn't moved. Bella felt herself going dizzy, so she sat herself down on the soft bed of leaves. She put her head between her knees and rocked backwards and forwards.

It wasn't long until Edward realised Bella was no where in sight. He stopped hunting immediately and followed her unique scent, until he came to the small clearing where Bella sat. He sat down next to her and pulled her close to him. "Bella what is it? What's wrong?" Edward asked. "This is where it happened, w w where Nessie died" Bella sobbed. "I can't hunt Edward, it's all my fault, she wouldn't be dead if I had been paying attention to her, or if I hadn't have put her in the tree. Edward I killed her."

Edward shook his head violently. "No you didn't, don't you ever think that. It was just an accident. You have to feed Bella. You can't keep doing this to yourself, I thought we agreed after the funeral we'd move on". Bella pulled herself closer to Edward. "I can't, I can't" she sobbed. Edward got up and left Bella sat where she was, he was gone no longer than 5 minutes, when he returned with a freshly caught deer. He sat back down next to Bella and put the deer to her mouth. "Drink, please Bella" he said "nothing will bring her back, you couldn't have done anything more to help her. We've been through so much since, and now's the time to move on, please Bella". Bella put the deer to her teeth and bit, she drank all it's blood and looked up at Edward for approval "come here" he said smiling. It was the first time in ages the two of them had both been happy together. They finished hunting and then went back to the cottage.

Edward and Bella sat on the bed in the cottage. "Thank you" Bella said to Edward. "What for?" he answered. "Everything, for making me realise that nothing was going to bring Nessie back, for helping me move on and making me understand Renesmee would want us to be happy" Bella said. Edward smiled "you've helped me too. You helped me realise sometimes it's ok to be sad , not to keep my feelings bottled up, and to keep going" Edward told Bella. "I don't feel guilty anymore, I know now that it was an accident because you showed me that it would have only been my fault if I had wanted it to happen, and I know I definatly didn't want it" Bella sighed in relief. "What a stupid little lamb" Edward laughed looking into Bella's eyes. "What a soft - hearted lion" Bella added touching Edward's nose. Both sat there laughing.

**Chapter 12- Life and Love **

Over the next couple of weeks, things got better, everyone was moving on and enjoying themselves again. Bella and Edward visited Nessie's grave once a week and their relationship was strong once more. Although both still thought about Renesmee, they now remembered the good things that made them smile. They hunted together and went out and did things with each other again.

Jacob was also finding things easier, he still missed Nessie more than anything but he had met another girl and had imprinted again. Something that normally never happened. Bella and Edward saw it as a gift from Renesmee, as the girl Jacob imprinted on was so like their daughter had been in both looks and personality. Things were looking up for everyone. Rosalie and Emmet had decided to stay in Forks and they were in the process of building their own house in between the Cullens' and the cottage. Everyone was getting along.

Bella and Edward were together like they used to be. They were happy and looked after each other. Today they had visited Nessie's grave and then gone hunting. When arrived back home, they went straight to the bedroom. They held each other, but now they were both in their underwear. They hadn't done this since Renesmee had died. It was the final hurdle.

Bella let Edward kiss her neck. She liked it and pulled his lips to hers, they started kissing passionately. Neither could bring themselves to let go of the other. Edward let Bella touch him, and she let him touch her. Nothing mattered now. Edwards' chest was smooth against Bella's skin, and their bodies fit together like a jigsaw. For one night everything was completely forgotten. They had no worries at all. They just loved each other. They couldn't love each other more. Bella looked deep into Edwards' eyes "I love you" she said truthfully . "I know you do, I love you too" Edward replied before pulling her lips to his. They were finally happy again and nothing would stop that.

Written by Hannah (A Twilight saga FanFic) Death is easy-Life is harder


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